Mellow Monday – Perfect Housewife

At dinner tonight, as always, my husband asked me what I had done today, though just like every Monday, he had been home all day.  I told him, “I had a lazy day.”  Then I thought about it, I had a lazy day?  What did I do?  I woke up at 5:14am.  Yes, odd time, I know, considering my alarm was set for 5:30 (I was sleeping in) and my Hubby had woke me at 4:36am when he had gotten up to use the toilet.  I never really got back to sleep after that.  My hubby does this thing when he’s falling asleep, he twitches, his whole body twitches.  So, every time I was beginning to hit that lovely realm of real sleep, he’d twitch and my eyes would fly open and the cycle would begin anew.  I gave up at 5:14am, yeah for my lazy day of sleeping in a whole extra FOURTEEN minutes.  I fed the dog, let the dog outside, fed Mr. Fish before I headed to the basement for what was suppose to be 40 minutes on the Elliptical, but like I said, this PH was being lazy.  I only did 30 minutes and 15 minutes of crunches and weights.  I took a load out of the dryer, put a load in the wash.  I fed the cat and cleaned her litter.  I made coffee and drank it while I folded the load of laundry and watched the season finale of Younger (you all really should watch it).  I had the kids fed, dressed, and heading down our driveway by 8:29 and they didn’t even have school today.  That is the earliest I have ever gotten all the kids out the door and in the car with a full face of makeup – school or not.  We went to the last day of the consignment sale, it was the Dollar Dash.  Everything under $20 is a dollar and anything over is five dollars.  You just grab and then go through your stash and pay for what you want and leave what you don’t.  I let the boys grab their own bags (those big blue Ikea bags) and have at it.  My best purchase of the day, remember I said I buy Holiday Decorations AFTER holidays?  I got all this for TWO DOLLARS!  It’s a Easter Rabbit Village with lights and everything!20160328_144551.jpgI even got my new little nephew a thing or two.  They were only $1 each, so if you don’t like them L, that’s fine.  (L is my BFF – She knows who she is).  After that I took all three kids to Target.  Their food court was closed, so I took all three kids to Target with NO POPCORN available; the struggles of real life people.  We got Hunter socks and egg dying kits for next year.   When we got home, the Princess was not going inside.  NO way, the rain had stopped and she was going to play.  I decided to sow our vegetable garden seeds.  I think I’m a little late, which means we may not be eating our veggies until August, but that’s okay.  We’re teaching our kids the importance of…Hmmm…nothing because Greyson, who volunteered to help, planted 15 of the 96 seeds and then decided to leave me alone to play with his one dollar  consignment treasures.  After I had all the planting finished and the trays set up in front of our big window inside to allow early growth, I made lunch.  I put Lenora down for a nap after I folded another load of laundry.  Then I reorganized and cleaned out two of our cluttered kitchen cabinets.  I was to lazy to do the third.  I took down all the Easter decorations and put them away, but had to reorganize two of our storage shelves to fit everything.  I vacuumed the downstairs, folded another load of laundry.  Finally, I made dinner.  Just some fancy grilled cheeses, reheated homemade Squash Soup, and Easter leftovers.  I was too lazy to make a real meal.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table, rehashing my day to my family, and Hunter says, “Mom, how is that lazy?”  You know what, the kid is right.  How is that lazy?  And what the HELL is wrong with me that I think I day like today, where I sat on the couch 3 times, watching a total of 60 minutes of t.v. while folding laundry, is considered lazy???  Am I so focused on being the Perfect Housewife that even if I do a shitload of work, but don’t finish my list , then I’m lazy??   UMMMM>>>NO!   I’d like to see Donna Reed call that a lazy day!  Audrey/Holly would be exhausted just reading what I did today.  I like how much I accomplish on a lazy day, imagine what I’d do on an active day.  Not even Donna would be able to keep up with me.  HA!  I know this seems really short, but I’m not finished.  I have a few fun weekend stories.  Oh, how I love holiday weekends.

Before I begin my story, I just want to let you all know that my MRI results were, “unconcerning”.  No idea what was causing the migraines, but they are no longer every day.  I don’t want to say they are completely gone because I might jinx it.

Onward –  I began my holiday weekend with an 8 mile run at 6:30am.  My girl, J, met up with me my last 2 miles.  She was planning on completing 9 miles.  We have a 10 miler race next weekend.  Anywho, we were running towards my downtown Starbucks, which is in a historic area, so of course, there is Cobblestone.  I’m usually very careful about running on Cobblestone, for Heaven’s sakes, it’s freaking 200 year old bricks, uneven bricks.  I still don’t know what happened.  You all know where I’m going with this, one minute I’m talking to J, the next minute I can see the brick coming up to meet me at mile 7.21.  It really was in slow motion.  Somehow, as I fell, I slightly turned my body, to my left and skidded across the brick with my left hand and my right elbow.  (My thumb is throbbing as I write this, I don’t think it likes my retelling).  I turn onto my back and just lie there, breathing through my teeth, feeling the burn.  You know the burn, when you scrape skin off your body, it burns and then you start to seeth through your teeth, hoping somehow that will take the pain away.  The same way you breath during childbirth, thinking it will help, it doesn’t.  Yet, you still do it with your 2nd and 3rd labour.  It never really helps.  Anywho, I’m just lying on the ground trying to get the searing flesh pain under control so I can  take inventory of the rest of my body.  J is talking to me, but I can’t really hear her, I can only really hear my breathing.  J helps me up as a young man steps between parked cars and asks me if I’m okay.  I’m saying something, like, “oohhh, ahhh, he-he-he, it burns” I think. I can’t really remember.  Then I see this man is just staring at me.  J’s holding my hands asking me if I’m okay, what hurts.  The kind, loving things a friend and mom of three says.  I realize the young guy is wondering if I’m okay.  He’s really concerned (See, there are still good strangers in this world), I finally speak up and tell him I’m fine, it’s just the missing flesh that is hurting.  J and I begin walking, or hobbling back towards Starbucks, a little more than a quarter mile away.  J asks again if I’m sure I’m fine.  I realize I’m limping, but it’s more because I’m not sure if I put weight on any one part, if it will hurt or not.  It doesn’t, so I begin to walk normally and tell her I’m fine, but I think I’ll end my run early.  I tell her to go on.  J’s sweet and says she doesn’t want to leave me to hobble alone.  I tell her it’s fine, she still has like 6 miles to go.  Kisses, hugs, and J and her beautifully sculpted calves leave me.  Oh, if I were into women, I would be in love with J’s legs.  I make my way back to Starbucks, I pass a woman who begins to say it’s a beautiful day, then she does a double take and asks if I’m okay.  I say I’m fine, I just took a little fall.  She offers me a ride to my car, but I’m not that far (see, there are still wonderful people in this world).  I wasn’t really sure why she had done the double take, then I look at my left thumb.  There is blood dripping, yes, dripping, from my thumb.  I don’t know how bad the cut is, because there is a lot of blood, like I stuck my thumb, to my first knuckle, into a bowl of ketchup.  Huh?  Explains why it’s burning so much.  My elbow is burning too, but I look at it and besides the dirt on my long sleeve shirt, it’s not ripped, and there is no blood seeping through, so that’s a plus.  I arrive at Starbucks and use their restroom to clean my wounded digit.  As soon as I run water over it, I yelped, something to the effect, “Holy what!  That hurts more than I expected!”  The bathrooms aren’t soundproof so when I went to the register to make my order, the girls working asked if I was okay.  The manager ever brought out bandaids.  I love my Starbucks!  I told them the story and treated myself to a Skim Milk Caramel Mocha Latte, I deserved the calories! Oh, and my thumb, yeah, just a millimeter of a millimeter of skin hanging loose.  All that blood for a cut the size of a piece of nerd candy.  NERD CANDY IS SMALL!

Do you know how many different things can cause pain on a flesh wound?  I have a list – washing your hands with soap, rinsing your hands in water, cold water, hot water, luke warm water, juice from an orange, juice from the packaging on a ham (yes, an 18lb ham), onion soup, onions, tomato juice, hot sauce that is on hot wings, icing, trying to decorate a cake with said icing, trying to open anything, washing your hair, washing your kid’s hair, trying to open anything, writing (I’m left handed), dirt, rinsing that dirt off your hands, nail polish remover, baby wipes, opening diapers, etc, etc, etc!  Oh, and a bruised elbow – not even going to get into that one.  Needless to say, it was a painful weekend, but more annoying pain than pain – pain.  You know what I mean.

I mentioned a cake earlier.  Someone asked if I was going to post my Easter dessert recipes.  I am more than happy too. I made a Carrot Cake and Cadbury Egg Brownies.

I made a lot of other stuff for Easter as well.  Loaded Mashed Potato Casserole –

Strawberry Broccoli Salad (I added 2 Tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinager to the dressing) –

Butter & Garlic Carrots –

Cheddar & Chives Biscuits –

and Ham.

Now for the Carrot Cake:

And the yummy – uber sweet – Cadbury Egg Brownies: (you’re welcome H)

I think I’ll end this post with the recipes.  I have another fun story to tell, but it will have to wait till tomorrow.  It is 10:58 and I hope to get up at 5am, that is if my adoring hubby sleeps through the night.  I love you Hubs!   20160328_183254.jpg

This is how we ended our evening tonight.  Before bath, Daddy and Grey tried resting on the couch while Lenora would climb on her Elmo Potty (i.e. her personal ladder) and then fling herself (full force) halfway onto the couch, into the safety of my stomach.  At least she missed my thumb!

Have a pleasant day – Audrey Reed


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